Saturday, November 19, 2011

Webster check

Is my defition off? I say eww he is a bug a boo but could it be that's he is consitent and showing interest? Then I say he must be busy but that could also mean he is with someone else or simply not into me. When will we as women learn such definitons and stop making lame excuses for men who are not worthy? What is wrong with a man that calls? Or that wants to spend time with you? Nothing I suppose. Yet when faced with such a man we are often turned off. Thinking he is to clingy or lame or some other word we label him as. Yet the guy that calls sporadically and sells you a dream is the guy that gives you butterflies and makes your heart skip a beat.... someone pass me a dictionary becase clearly I'm confused....

*grabs dictionary and coffee*

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Monday, November 14, 2011

Daddy's Grown Woman

I often ask myself and others who will save the super hero. Right now that statement is ever more present in my mind. I am a daddy’s girl and he is my word. He has always been my rock, my means of support whether it is financial, emotional or otherwise. Now I feel powerless to help him. My father is a man’s man he is 6’5 and very strong. Yet with his knee blowing out he seems weak like the little boy in a picture I saw of his past. I know it is selfish to think about how this affects me but this blog is about me so deal with it LOL. In thinking of all the things my father has survived he was born in 1950 and for this knee to set him back the way it has is so devastating. He continues to make jokes and tell me things will be ok but will they? My mom usually comes through in a clutch but will she? I have to trust that she will be good to him in his time of need and with any other person in life I would but he is my father and I will admit it. I’m scared. What would he do if he could no longer walk how would that affect his mind? Usually I want to run and cry to my father at a time like this but I know that it will only hurt him. This is a true test of whom I claim to be now "Daddy's grown woman". At one point there was a MR. I could run to but he is no longer so now it’s time for me to man up and put my big girl drawers on and be strong for the man who has always been so strong for me….

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Its like a Jungle Sometimes...

So many men and I just want one... I dont really have that many. When I want my phone to ring it never does, when I text they rarely text back so what do I really have? A whole lot of nothing. Trips are nice, but getting a daily phone call takes a signed paper from Obama. Lol. Dates are nice but trying to navigate through them and keep my panties on has become so tiring. Learn my last name before trying to get me in the sheets. What are my goals, fears? It doesn't mater aslong as I let you slide inside. I mean do these people not care about diseases? Geesh you think they would want to be as safe as I would however that worm in the pants seems to overide all. Don't even get me started on the "let's chill" guys. Umm sir the first outing will not be an evening in my home! *side eye*... well here's to thinking my prince is somewhere in a see of frogs! Lol

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I guess you guys thought I forgot but I didn't I was just being lazy... today is day 2 of the workout, eat better, remain positive thing! Lol its soooo much easier to remain in a negative space and I refuse to dwell in it... first things first this cutting back on food is very hard for me. I love to eat but since I don't love me without clothes things have to change. Staying positive [something I consistently tell my clients] is not all that bad. It can be difficult at times but finding the silver lining is possible. Trust me I have plenty dark clouds but they will no longer block my sun.... so as I type this my stomach growls lol I'm sure I will be grumpy so stay tuned...
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