Tuesday, September 17, 2013

You Do Not Know My Struggle!!!!!!

Today's post is a part of Joi's mini blog challenge and the prompt was to post a controversial post. If you know me in real life then you know my mind was every where!!!! Sex, Trayvon Martin, cheating spouses, Johnathan Ferrell Mega bloggers, racism, literally I was all over the place. I really was at a lost on this one.

Then while picking up my daughter from after care I asked the worker a question that I guess I should have known the answer to and a stay at home mom made the following comment while looking at me like I had a third boob "she must be one of those working moms"... *insert side eye* What does that even mean? Being a mother is work period. Since I am dressed in business casual attire you assume that I was so caught up in work that I missed the memo? Totally not true I was running late because I stayed up late LOL!!!

My immediate thoughts were she doesn't know why I work. I at the moment cannot afford to stay home or I definitely would. I worked really hard to overcome various barriers and obtain not one but two degrees as a single mom and Sallie Mae would now like to be paid back for that lovely Master's of Education that I still need to frame. Its frustrating because her comment on a different level says that women have to chose and I don't chose. I WANT IT ALL... I'm tired a lot but I get it DONE!!! LOL... I digress...


Which lead me to a deeper issue. Why is that as women are so competitive and harsh. The never ending battle between women is RIDICULOUS lets see we have
SAHM vs Working mom
Bottle fed vs Breast fed
DIY vs Buy it from the store
Heels vs Flats

I could go on and on but who has that time.  We don't know the struggles that people face and what they REALLY have going on in their life. So maybe I work because I want to buy crafts so I can be a DIY type of mom. Maybe I didn't bottle feed because I have some type of illness or survived an illness.  Is it possible that I wear flats to work because I am on my feet all day? These examples are not all my real life just meant to open your eyes and hopefully allow some one to see a situation differently.

In the blog world we all are super supportive of each other until someone out shines you then enter the shade. We have all seen or felt it. It really should not be this way since the pie honestly is big enough for everyone to have slice...

Friday, September 13, 2013

Awesome day at work!!!!!

If you all remember I recently switched jobs. Currently I work for the homelessness commission and yes I miss therapy but this job has the potential to be rewarding as well. On August 28 (yea Im late) (Joi taught me to schedule posts LOL) I was allowed the pleasure of not only assisting but actually witnessing a man who has been homeless off and on for many years come of the street and into permanent housing.

The first time he became homeless he was a teen. When I think of the things that he has endured a sense of needing to pray and be humble overwhelms me. It was magical and moving. (verbal permission to use his image was granted in the day of move in... just in case)I have so many words but a picture is worth a thousand so I will let them tell the story

I will call him Mr just because he deserves a little privacy... He was not sure initially about the location but after viewing the apartment he became excited and his face actually lit up.

This man has lived on the streets and in shelters and to see him and capture how he is looking at this key brought tears to my eyes. He has said repeatedly that having his own key and being able to turn it in the lock of his own home is powertful and give him great joy.

Other community agencies already had furniture for him so he did not go into an empty apartment.


Initially this man was quiet and reserved and after he got the keys he was sooo happy and talkative. The transformation was great to watch. He appeared shy and unsure but the moment he recieved those keys he walked a little taller!

One of my favorite parts was the walk through. you know checking for before damage. Well he was all to happy to do a walk through and point out what was wrong that he DID NOT break!!! It was an amazing experience you all but this and other events at work have lead to a MAJOR mind shift. I will keep you all posted as things transpire. 

*Do you feel fulfilled at your job? Is it your passion?

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Wedding... Another list!!!! lol

When I tell you this wedding thing is in full motion and my checkbook is screaming it is not a game!!! Word of advice... GO TO VEGAS, or do the destination thing. One day soon I will do a post of the friendship issues I have had as well as the cost... This however is not that post...

So you know those thousand and one wedding checklist.... I even posted one here. There is a tineline for EVERYTHING.  What I couldn't find was a checklist of the extra stuff you need things that may go forgotten and then you run out of money and you are scrambling LOL... So in true ocd/super blogger fashion I made my own

Toasting glasses
Card box/wishing well
Cake cutters
Cake topper
Sand set (I have a unity candle phobia)
Rose petals
Table cloth for table at the ceremony that will hold the broom
Grooms gift
Isle runner
Flower girl baskets
Tule and other decor

LOL!!!!!! So you see I though I had a handle on it and nope I didn't!

Hope this helps someone.Oh and if you see something I missed please please please LET ME KNOW.

*Did you make a to do list?
*Did you forget anything on your big day/ sister's day?

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

A Tag of Three!!!!

Hello all I recently ran across this great blog and she had the idea to do a tag of three. I thought it would be cool and I have seen other post like this and thought I should get in on the fun. Here are my three!!!

3 goals

  • maintain my fitness vows
  • stick with a blog schedule
  • Work on new buisness venture every night

3 wants

  • to be a housewife
  • to get through the wedding with my sanity
  • Personal Trainer


  • Julian Barnes- The sense of Ending
  • Patrick Lencioni- The Five Dysfunctions of a team
  • Sista Souljah- A deeper Love inside: The Porsche Santiaga Story

3 motivators

  • My fiance, he is my biggest fan
  • My sister- she has lost like 100 pounds, she is MOH and she is amazing!
  • My daughter- She is my personal cheerleader! LOVE her

Monday, September 2, 2013

My Vows... Gotta love me

If you have keeping up with me you know my weight is a struggle. Along with my health issues, and my hip issues I have been losing motivation because of the gain. Then I read this post by my Bloggy bestie about her renewing her fitness vos and I thought Heck yea that is just what I need (although I do need to be working on my love vows too).

I Toya promise to love and honor myself even if I do not like the number on the scale, and since I dont like that number I will work to change it. This work includes:

  • Drinking no less than 80oz of water daily
  • Eating baked, lean meat (if you know me you know I love anything fried)
  • Including protein at every meal
  • Staying away from all the things I love (pizza, cheeseburgers, fries) 6 out of the 7 days weekly
  • Not overindulging in my love foods on the 7th day
  • Working out no less than 5 days a week
  • Limiting alcohol consumption to 1 weekend night per week 
  • Celebrating the small victories with something other than food
There you have it. I promise to me to do everything possible to keep these vows to myself. I am a better mom, fiance, and employer when I am taking care of me. I have to create a balance and it restarts today!!!!

*How do you stay motivated? How will you stay on track for the holiday?

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