Monday, November 17, 2014

4 Things to Consider When Dating with Children

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Hello world, as usual I was talking with a friend (dam is that all I do lol)  and the topic of dating while being a single parent came up. I know I know its a hot topic and as always if  you disagree with me just do so respectfully. We are all entitled to our own opinions....

I was a single parent for so long and being perfectly honest with you I dated. It was not easy or convenient. I remember when my now husband and I were dating we had a standing Friday date. I used to get off early on Friday and was able to leave mini me at after care while I had the date. Sure there were some early dates but eh it all worked out for me. I also met some people that mini me never knew existed but I survived. Here is what I learned...

Timing is everything- For me my daughter did not need to meet every guy who said hello to me. That is dumb and confusing to her. Plus I did not want her to think that love and dating involved a plethora of guys. I did not want her getting attached if the guy wasn't planing to be around. Also be honest with your self we all have dated people that we did not believe were in our best interest but we were bored, desperate, lonely or whatever.Still you don't want to fall madly in love with someone to learn that they do not like children or worse your child does not like them. So timing the introduction is critical.

Neutral Ground- One thing I tried to do was allow my daughter to meet the new prospect on neutral territory such as a park or restaurant. Sure this did not always happen but I had good intentions. It may be intimidating for the child to have the stranger all in there space.

Respect- I think in general there should be a level of respect for the child from the non parent that apparently some people do not have. For example I have a serious issue with the child sleeping at the foot of the bed with mommy and "boyfriend of the week" or daddy and his new boo. There are times when dating a single parent means your date will be suddenly cancelled because the baby sitter fell through or the child is sick. This is when you really learn who you are dating. Sure disappointment is expected but if someone throws a complete fit or asks you to chose this may not be a good mate for you as your child is permanent and we all know dates come and go.

Trust your instincts- Everyone is not right for you and your child. When people tell you they prefer not to date because you have a child LISTEN TO THEM. If your talking on the phone and they never ask about your child this is a sign. If after meeting your child they never consider any kid friendly dates this too is a sign. Its a sad fact that mates come and go and often the departure is after a child has been born. The child is innocent and did not ask for any drama between parents or to be mistreated by the new love interest in any way. So remember dating is cool but your first priority is to be a parent.



  1. You hit the nail on the head with this!!! Hope many people read this and follow your suggestions. I know we had many conversations regarding being single and dating as well as I remember those Friday dates!! It all worked out beautifully for you!!

    1. Thank you, I try... Ha you were there from the beginning!!! As always thanks for reading!


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