Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Wellness Wednesday- Sacrificing Comfort for Change

Remember when I started Wellness Wednesday? With the new year approaching one of my goals is to be more consistent with that. Since we all like to set goals for the new year I thought this guest post  from a great friend of mine Keana would be perfect. Please enjoy!

Hey! I’m Keana Nwaneri and I’m the creator and editor of Starting the Conversation Blog. I’m a graduate, Clinical Mental Health Counseling student with a passion for mental health and total wellness. I’m originally from St. Louis, MO but currently reside in Nashville, TN


Sacrificing Comfort For Change

In the counseling world, we use the transtheoretical model or Stages of Change model to assess how “ready” and/or committed a client is, to changing a particular behavior.

With New Year’s right around the corner and everyone on social media sharing what they want to change this year, I thought I’d share a few tips on creating long-lasting change.

One of my favorite people once told me “it’s not about how much you want to loose weight, it’s about how willing you are to give up eating cheeseburgers.” I laughed because for some reason, that was hilarious to me but afterwards, I thought long and hard about that statement. It really resonated with me. Although he wasn’t talking about me when he made that statement, in a lot of ways, I was able to apply that to my own life and the things that I wanted to change but just couldn’t find the motivation to.

Displaying Stages of Change.jpg

The Stages of Change Model explained

The first stage of change is the precontemplation stage. In this stage, you may not even realize that there is a problem, or you may simply not be ready or willing to fix it.

The next stage of change is the contemplation stage. At this stage, you’ve admitted that there is a problem and are considering initiating change.

Next is the preparation stage. Here, you’re deciding that you want to change and preparing for action.
The next stage is the action stage. Here you are actively engaged in the process and taking the steps necessary to initiate behavior change.

Lastly, there is the maintenance stage. Here, you work to maintain the change(s) you have made.

While the stages are pretty straight forward, an important note to remember is that each person works through these stages at their own pace and unfortunately, it’s not always in this exact order. Change can be difficult, scary or just plain old uncomfortable but know that that’s to be expected. Don't let these feeling deter you from your ultimate goal or behavior change.

Being Honest with Yourself
If you find that your New Year’s Resolutions aren’t happening as fast as you would like, just take a step back, breath and be patient with yourself. However, if you find that you are making little to no progress after long periods of time, you may want to reassess your goal(s). Ask yourself:
1) Why is this goal / behavior change (BC) important to me? What does it represent, if anything?
2) How will this goal / BC improve your life?
3) Is this the only way I can go about achieving my goal / BC?
4) What will it take for me to achieve this goal /BC?
5) How willing am I to commit myself to doing what it will take to achieve this goal / BC?

After answering these questions, you should have a better idea of what it really is that you are wanting and how serious you are about doing, or not doing, what is necessary to make it happen. Because while having goals and wanting to change a behavior may sound like a great idea, you have to do the work for them to materialize, and unfortunately, there is no shortcut to success.

Ok guys if you would like to connect more with Keana you can read her BLOG and follow her other social media accounts below.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Super Woman is a Cartoon- Lets Be Real

Lately I have been having a ton of mixed unexplained emotions. This is to be expected because I had a baby on November 5 sending my emotions on a roller coaster.  I have been having some extreme mommy and wife guilt mixed with mild depression and anxiety that is on steroids. I have been feeling as if I should be doing more despite all that I am doing. Then it hit me whose standards was I using to determine how well I was doing anyway? superwoman?

 That chick doesn't exist. So in an effort to self soothe and help other women I came up with these 4 things that all new moms and women in general need to remember:

1. Appreciate that you cant do it all all the time. If your feeding the baby (or working on a project for the non moms) then in that moment your not doing anything else. So laundry, dinner, and calling your friend back all have to wait. Don't try to multi task unless you have to while the baby is so young.  You have plenty of time to become a multi tasking master.

2. Accidents happen!- They are inevitable and no one but Jesus is perfect. You will poke your baby in the cheek trying to get that onesie on. You will warm the milk to much and have to wait for it to cool as your baby screams bloody murder. You will use the breast pump and then spill the liquid gold you drained from your sore boob. Learn to laugh and move forward.

3. Do something for you even if it is small- Lets be honest sometimes getting out of bed to shower and make sure you change your pajamas is a whole task especially when you have a new baby and your always tired. However fresh pajamas and combing your hair does wonders for you. You feel a little more human and little less dairy-cow/robot if you keep up on your hygiene.  If you are a makeup lady put some on. For me its singing loudly in the shower and taking my scarf off and combing my hair. Its small but it keeps me sane.

4.Lower the bar.- This does not mean be a loser or be complacent but Pinterest, Facebook, movies and magazines will have you feeling bad because the other moms "have it all together". They craft, cook, organize all while wearing heels and a full face of make up making it look super easy. Well let me just tell you They lied!!!! They put their best foot forward on social media for the likes and other numbers and we all know tv land and magazine world is not real. Half the chicks in the magazine don't even have children that is why they don't have stretch marks.

The way I see it if you are juggling all your responsibilities and meeting deadlines in life and work you are the real super woman. Give yourself a pat on the back... too bad we dont have capes!

What are your tips for time management?
How do you stay sane when it seems you have so much to do?

Thursday, December 11, 2014

To Share or Not To Share

As a blogger I think about taking pictures of EVERYTHING. Often when I am out of topics I simply go through my phone and see what stories the pictures tell. There are times that my husband is pissed, embarrassed, or a combination off the two because I will instantly whip my phone out saying "I need it for my blog" or "I need to document that."

It wasn't until recently that I started to think, do I share too much? Does everything need to be on Instagram? I am in no way a mega blogger and I have been blessed that I have not been attacked for what I share (at least to my knowledge). Still now that I promote posts on Facebook I realize I have opened my blog up to a whole new world. Its no longer me and my bloggy world friends, its people that I know and even people that I do not like. While the exposure is great and does well for my numbers I am more aware of what I share. I am also edited in what aspects of my life I share when I never was before,

After having my son I went on a social media blackout refusing to allow others to post pictures of him and not even posting my own. I realized that some things should be kept private. When you are uploading pictures and responding to comments you cant fully be present in the moment. One thing I regret about my engagement is posting it to social media so soon. I should have waited a day because once it hit the web I was wrapped up in repeating the story and responding to comments. I should have just been in the moment with my boo.

Back to present day...My cousin came over to see my son and my mom instantly starts showing her pictures she took while I was in labor. I love my cousin but those pictures are not for everyone. It actually made me regret allowing my mom to be a part of the process. Everything is not for everybody. My lady parts were out, my hair was wrapped up, I had a towel over my head I looked a hot mess. No one needs to see that but us. No one needs to be privy to those moments except those that were there.

Then I questioned was I being to hard on my mom because I share a lot of things via this blog and my other social media accounts. Then it hit me I share MY business not others. I share aspects of my life that I don't mind others knowing, I am in control of what others see as it pertains to my life. There are a million aspects of my life and only about a thousand do I share. I shouldn't have to explain why I want to be the first to debut my son on social media. Nor should I have to defend not posting him online. He is MY child. I have sense posted TONS of pictures of my son but on my terms.

I think people should be allowed to share what they want about their lives and people need to respect that just because the picture is in their phone doesn't make it their business to share.

What do you all think? How much of your friends and families lives do you share on your social media?

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