Monday, November 17, 2014

4 Things to Consider When Dating with Children

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Hello world, as usual I was talking with a friend (dam is that all I do lol)  and the topic of dating while being a single parent came up. I know I know its a hot topic and as always if  you disagree with me just do so respectfully. We are all entitled to our own opinions....

I was a single parent for so long and being perfectly honest with you I dated. It was not easy or convenient. I remember when my now husband and I were dating we had a standing Friday date. I used to get off early on Friday and was able to leave mini me at after care while I had the date. Sure there were some early dates but eh it all worked out for me. I also met some people that mini me never knew existed but I survived. Here is what I learned...

Timing is everything- For me my daughter did not need to meet every guy who said hello to me. That is dumb and confusing to her. Plus I did not want her to think that love and dating involved a plethora of guys. I did not want her getting attached if the guy wasn't planing to be around. Also be honest with your self we all have dated people that we did not believe were in our best interest but we were bored, desperate, lonely or whatever.Still you don't want to fall madly in love with someone to learn that they do not like children or worse your child does not like them. So timing the introduction is critical.

Neutral Ground- One thing I tried to do was allow my daughter to meet the new prospect on neutral territory such as a park or restaurant. Sure this did not always happen but I had good intentions. It may be intimidating for the child to have the stranger all in there space.

Respect- I think in general there should be a level of respect for the child from the non parent that apparently some people do not have. For example I have a serious issue with the child sleeping at the foot of the bed with mommy and "boyfriend of the week" or daddy and his new boo. There are times when dating a single parent means your date will be suddenly cancelled because the baby sitter fell through or the child is sick. This is when you really learn who you are dating. Sure disappointment is expected but if someone throws a complete fit or asks you to chose this may not be a good mate for you as your child is permanent and we all know dates come and go.

Trust your instincts- Everyone is not right for you and your child. When people tell you they prefer not to date because you have a child LISTEN TO THEM. If your talking on the phone and they never ask about your child this is a sign. If after meeting your child they never consider any kid friendly dates this too is a sign. Its a sad fact that mates come and go and often the departure is after a child has been born. The child is innocent and did not ask for any drama between parents or to be mistreated by the new love interest in any way. So remember dating is cool but your first priority is to be a parent.


Monday, November 10, 2014

My Baby Shower Was Everything!!!

We all have been to those showers that were not so great well in my biased humble opinion that was not my shower. You know how I love to let the pictures tell the story so I am warning you now this post is very picture heavy.  Here we go...

I had my make up done by the lovely Tiffany Williams (same lady who did all my wedding makeup). She is amazing!


If you remember my bridal shower you remember the turn out was less than stellar. So this time around I only wanted a small amount of close friends to help me celebrate this joyous occasion. I was pleased with EVERYTHING and EVERYONE who showed up.

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My sister friends!!!
my sister and I

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The lovely Cochea and I...  married two weeks after me and due a couple months after me (its hard out here for a newly wed lol)

Kim and I

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Atiya, myself, Keanna

my mom and I

me and my sister

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Mrs. Salls, My sister, and mini me



So how cute are these ducks in the punch? Special thanks to Meyoshia because all I had to do was say I wanted ducks and she got them!!! (Punch= sherbet, and sprite, it was very delicious)

Chicken wings, rotel dip, meatballs

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Deviled eggs, and pasta salad

Party Favors


We were very blessed at this shower and our friends really came through for baby Jaden. I am so thankful to each of them for everything.

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In real life I am not traditional so nothing about the shower games was. For gifts we gave out fancy looking airplane shots of vodka, gin, and champagne (I know bad blogger no pictures). 

We of course played the pin game. You know don't say the word baby or I take your pin. So my husband and Cochea were running neck and neck then he slipped up while opening gifts and said "my baby will be clean" (we got a ton of baby body wash like literally over 7 bottles) so she got all the pins!!!

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We played "my water broke." You freeze the babies in ice trays (babies purchased at Party City) place the frozen ice babies in a cup of water and wait to see whose baby floats first. That person then says "my water broke."... So of course at my shower we had people biting the ice to free the baby but it was super fun!!!

Who can take the shot from the bottle the fastest. This game was hilarious. We placed a shot of alcohol and juice in a bottle and had the guest compete to see who could drink it the fastest. For those who do not drink we had a non alcoholic option (pretty sure no one opted for that). We just got bottles from the dollar tree. I didn't take pictures of that either but you get it!

We played name that celebrity baby's parents. My friend Meyoshia had a printable of celebrity baby names (Blanket, Blue Ivy, etc.) and you had to guess the parents. The final game that my mini me won was measure my tummy her measuring tape fit EXACTLY!!!.... Oh and no she did not get a airplane shot the runner up did. My sister took her to the mall to pick out a gift.

Initially I had no intentions of having a shower. However my niece told me she wanted to give me one. She is only 17 and in her senior year of high school and is quite popular. There were times when I thought she was not gonna come through because again she is 17 and living her life. However she completely proved me and anyone else who said she couldn't handle it wrong. The shower was amazing. The food, decor, games, EVERYTHING was great. Thanks niecey-poo!!!

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Big sister Gifts from Baby

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While scrolling Pinterest looking for gift ideas for my oldest child during the birth of baby Jaden I saw that parents were giving gifts to the older children from the baby. I want my oldest child to feel loved and secure and I thought this is such a cute idea I will do it for her,

So I went to Target and stalked the dollar deal isle,then hit up Dollar Tree for the bag and here is what we have.

Obviously Jaden did not do this but it is the thought that counts, and I know she will appreciate the gesture.

These items are very appropriate to my daughter and what she likes, plus I paid no more $5 for anything in this bag #winning!!! We love dry erase boards at my house, they are really everywhere. So this travel size one will do well for car trips.

As you can tell she is really into writing, office supplies and Monster high. She recently told me she wanted beats by Dre (she is totally my child) well that was not happening in my budget so these headphones will have to do. I know it may be cheesy to some but I think the idea of her getting a gift at the hospital when every one will be oogling the baby is genius!

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